Commemorate Me

I remember the last day I worked two jobs, and how amazing it felt to finally be finished. I had finally saved enough money after 4 months of 13 hour days to buy myself a car.

I remember the day when I was finally tall enough to climb the biggest tree in my backyard and I felt like I was on top of the world with the sun on my face and the breeze ruffling my hair.

I remember the way she used to make fun of me, whispering secrets to her new friends and pointing fingers out of the windows of her house when all I wanted to do was play with her younger brother because she always ignored him.

I remember the way your family took me in like one of their own when I didn't have one at home. We became so close that I was there almost every day after school, helping make dinners and finish the chores.

I remember the way my heart caved in when I learned I had been cheated on.

I remember the first time you called me after midnight and while we talked about nothing my heart felt everything and I could tell I was falling for you. But you couldn't and never will be mine.

I remember hitting my arm on the wall of that boring old classroom and the first time I really saw you was when you quickly glanced up to ask if I was okay.

I remember the day that you told me you were going to get a divorce. I was 12 and I told you "I knew it." I will never forget the way your face looked when I said it, all fallen and sad.

I remember singing Where Are You Christmas and the words finally made sense because my life was fracturing faster then I could tape it back together. I was too young for it to make sense, I should have still been believing in Santa.

I remember the way your voice sounded when I called you back to ask why and you asked me if I was okay. The only time I stopped crying for the next couple of weeks was when I slept but even then you haunted my dreams.

I remember wanting to burn the hat and break the soda bottles.

I remember talking again but it never felt the same because everything was tainted now.

I remember the way I used to lay in the cool grass of the small hill in my old backyard and doze off in the warm sunlight because nobody was  home but me and I didn't have a care in the world.

I remember the first fight I saw between you and your parents and holding you on the couch after until your chest finally stopped hiccuping and your cheeks dried.

I remember the way everyone reacted when they found out you had gotten the person who had a very complicated relationship with exercise to hike.

I remember the way everyone ignored me when I moved, even though we still go to the same school and I see them every day. They were all too caught up in the pretty new girl who had just moved in.

I remember when I first got my puppy, he has been my best friend and kept me alive since then.

I remember how crystal blue the ocean was as I looked out over the warm sand, happy that for just a week all my cares were carried away by the sweet Mexican breeze.

I remember being up to my elbows in homemade coleslaw but not caring in the slightest because I was surrounded by people who were there to support me and make me smile.

I remember playing endless rounds of pool because I didn't mind losing to you.

I remember that my first kiss in the rain was with you and I loved the way your skin felt speckled with raindrops.

I remember when I dreaded getting up every morning. Now with your help and everyone's smiles I can get up every day and face what is to come and I can't thank you enough.