Bittersweet Symphony

I've decided I don't like knowing the ending to things ahead of time. It doesn't make anything more enjoyable, it only makes things more bittersweet. But I do think that that makes things all the more beautiful in time. Like Nelson told us, we are all going to die. It's inevitable. And yet, with that knowledge, as much we may not like it, we can make our lives mean something. We can be something, everything. And that to me is true beauty,

If you really knew me, you'd know that I contradict myself A LOT. In the middle of being a total pessimist about life, I will always point out the sunset or smile because of someone amazing.

If you really knew me, you'd know I love to sketch with charcoal, take photographs (see above picture), and write short stories.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm not as tough as everyone thinks I am. I've just spent my whole life hiding it. But thanks to this blog I am slowly becoming able to be more open about saying "I'm not okay right now. I will be, but right now I'm not."

If you really knew me, you'd know that my west highland terrier, Anchor, is one of the best things to ever happen to me. He has kept me alive in the year I've had him, and I wish he understood when I tell him that every night before bed.

If you really knew me, you'd know I'm deathly afraid of heights. Even just standing on buckets at work to reach a higher shelf freaks me out.

 If you really knew me, you'd know I love the smell of campfire. It clings to my hair and clothes and it just makes me smile!

If you really knew me you'd know I never wear any brand of shoes other than vans. It's like some unwritten rule I made for myself when I was younger. The funniest part about this though is that I usually have to buy kid sized shoes.

If you really knew me you'd know I'm torn between having a job in something culinary or something in English. Both are a passion I'm working on right now.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I write in cursive 100% of the time, unless otherwise forced by official documents or a cranky teacher.

If you really knew me you'd know I'm terrible at making decisions. Sometimes I know exactly what I want and you can't sway me from that choice, but most the time I just shrug my shoulders and wait for someone else to pick or until my last day to make it.

If you really knew me, you'd know that my favorite color is orange and I'm getting an orange kitchen aid for Christmas I like it that much.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm scared of love but am taking a chance right now that I'm hoping doesn't bite me in the ass.

If you really knew me, you'd know know that I swear a lot. More than I should. But 96.1230% of the time it's to help get a point across, especially in my writing.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I am turning 18 in 11 days and am scared out of my mind but can't wait.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I am barely 5'4 and have all really tall friends.

I guess you really know parts of me now, after I've shared many thoughts, feelings, and secrets on this blog. So, I guess all I have left is one thing to say:

Since you know me, it's time to know the real me.

I am Molly Savannah Thompson!