Paranoia

Sometimes the scary people aren't the ones who hold a gun to your head. They are the ones who terrorize you with their words, and who make walking down the halls of your school hell because you are constantly afraid of running into them. They are the ones who you are terrified might walk into your work again and see you before you can run and hide in the back.

And yes. I'm speaking from experience. It explains why I spend as little time at Lone Peak as possible. It explains why I am guarded, with walls built higher than the Empire State Building. It explains why I am skeptical, paranoid, and loathe attending assemblies.

Do you know what it is like walking into a crowded auditorium and feeling your skin flush, heat rushing through your veins as your pulse quickens? Constantly looking around as you hurry to find a seat, and a friend to sit with so you don't remain vulnerable. Just trying to breathe is hard enough without the paranoia.

And this, all this, teaches you how to adjust your pace quickly in the halls. How to hide behind the nearest tall person, or how to dodge into the closest hallway. You learn how to discreetly tell someone you'd rather walk the other way or not enter a classroom. But most of all, you learn how to accept the fact you will never have another normal relationship again.